A letter to the readers.

Dear readers,

We were sitting at the table during dinner time and my aunt mentions this new thing called “corona”. ‘Did you hear about it?’ she asks, and I reply with something along the lines of me never hearing of this name except for the old brand of chocolate. A week later and the words quarantine, COVID-19, virus, and social distancing soon become the only words in the dictionary we hear. Our world changed in seconds. Jobs stopped, clubs closed, and the world took a break. Life stopped. It stopped for two weeks, then three, then four. The days became weeks, the weeks became months, and here we are living in a never-ending cycle of uncertainty and discomfort. We were living under the name of certainty and now the fog has cleared, we understood that certainty was a simple illusion; a mental and visual illusion of control, an illusion of knowing what will happen tomorrow. 

       The truth is, nothing changed. We never had control and we never will. The only difference is that now the veil has been unveiled and the fog has cleared- and we are simply living with the discomfort of not knowing. This uncomfortable realization has caused a mental health outbreak. For the first time in centuries, the business that has masked our emotions away is no longer there, the chaos of the world and its rapid pace have somehow slowed down.  For the first time in centuries, we ought to live with ourselves. For the first time, we are living our thoughts, our feelings, and our emotions. For the first time, we are living. But the world thinks it stopped when in reality it has just started. For the first time- we are living with ourselves. I mean truly living with ourselves. Living with the dark thoughts, with the fears, with the suppressed memories and traumas. 

       When everything that is suppressed somehow finds its way to resurface; two things happen- fight or flight. We either run away from these dark thoughts, or we sit down and look them straight up in the face. We either fight the thoughts or take the first plane and fly out away from them. The COVID-19 outbreak either shed light on mental health issues to further highlight them or simply was a change in the external world as opposed to the internal. In other words, this pandemic either made your mental health worse, better, or the same. Yes, you read the right words; worse, better, or the same. Those who have been living in ages with generalized anxiety disorder feel no difference when the external world is chaotic - because their internal one has already been screaming for years and years. Those with major depressive disorder find no difference in staying home for weeks because their depressive episodes already made them stay in bed for days, weeks, and months. If life is a shower, then the pandemic was a curtain. For some, the opening of the curtain caused them to see - for the first time ever. For others, the curtain has been open for years and years… and for some, the curtain was never there in the first place. For example, those who have been living with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) suffered from insomnia for years, so the changes in sleep schedules is already something they deal with. 

This pandemic taught us empathy. It made us begin to understand the agony of those with depression, the worry of those with anxiety, the insomnia of those with PTSD, and in the disordered eating of those with eating disorders. It helped us understand why the people around us behave in the way that they do. And if we were not already one of those fighting, living, and surviving mental health related disorders - we became exposed to their fight. Because for the first time ever, the world is collectively experiencing forms of trauma, anxiety, and depression. For the first time ever, the world is collectively experiencing a mental health pandemic. 

       Whether you are someone who has been experiencing mental health issues before or during this pandemic, one thing we have in common is suffering. Whether you personally got infected with COVID-19 or know a loved one who has - the world has increasingly become a place of struggle and suffering. This suffering has and will always be there. For that, while experiencing the COVID-19 outbreak remember to check in with your mental health as often as you check in with your physical health. Understand if you are in the category of better,worse,or same.If you are better, remember that your internal world has seen worse - much worse days than you can ever remember, so keep moving forward. If you are worse, remember that it's only normal for your mental health struggles to become heightened in times of stress, anxiety and uncertainty. It's only normal to feel a little dimmer, it's only normal to get flashbacks of traumas you have been suppressing, it's only normal that you experience nights of insomnia or days of hypersomnia, and it's only normal for your eating to become more disordered. It is important, more than ever, to find support in these times. Mental health struggles are only normal, but it’s important to know that you are not struggling alone. Reach out. Find support. And, if you feel the same, then keep going on the track you have been running. 

Much love,

Kanzi

For more resources, check out the Middle East Psychological Association. If you’re in Egypt, Lilac has gathered a list of psychiatric centers to help.

Seek help. You are not alone.

If you have any more resources you’d like us to be aware of and spread, please contact us.